Jesus was radically selfless. The love he showed others sought nothing in return; he gave his time and energy freely to anyone who asked for it and plenty that didn’t; he even humbled himself to the point of washing his friends’ feet — an act reserved for a servant. He was selfless.
But he didn’t run on empty. Over and over again in the Scriptures, we see him leave the crowds and his friends and find time in solitude to pray and recharge. And the timing of when he chose to steal away can give us a little insight into why this practice was so important.
One of the first examples of Jesus finding time alone might not sound like self-care to many of us — he spent 40 days in the wilderness on his own facing a grueling season of temptation. But as soon as he finished his sabbatical in the wild, he began his three-year ministry that included traveling all over the place, making disciples, preaching to large crowds, and the list goes on. It seems then that his 40 days served in some capacity as preparation — filling the tank for what was going to be an exhausting journey, making sure he was ready for it, and getting clarity on what exactly it would look like through prayer. Frequently throughout his ministry, he took little pit stops like this to rest and recharge as well. He even charged his followers to do the same.
Another time Jesus made space to be on his own came when he learned that his cousin and good friend, John the Baptist, had died. He went away to grieve. The result of loving others the way Jesus did — fully, selflessly, unconditionally — is that you end up really invested. That’s ultimately a very good thing, but it can make an already difficult loss even harder. A life lived for other people is one where you share in many more joys than you would otherwise, but it’s also one where you share in more sorrows, and Jesus made space for both. In this instance, he needed time alone to process and grieve before he could continue his ministry.
One last example of Jesus practicing self-care is an easy one to miss. There’s this time when Jesus and his disciples are en route to the next town to continue their ministry, and they’re simply walking on a road. Around noon they stop, and the whole group goes into town to find food for lunch — the whole group except Jesus. Instead, Jesus simply sits down beside a well and takes a break because he was “weary from his journey.” Jesus didn’t just practice self-care emotionally; he practiced it physically. He rested when his body needed it. It’s as simple as that.
The thing I think that connects all of these is the fact that we as humans have limits and capacities. Jesus wasn’t exempt from those — his many decisions to rest, pray, and take time alone are evidence of that. Jesus was aware of his limits and took a step back when he exceeded them. When we talk about self-care, we can take it too far in one of two directions. We can completely ignore it and give and give and give until there’s nothing left of us to give. That’s neither good for us nor the people we’re trying to care for — they don’t get our best because we’re running on empty. Or we can put self-care on a pedestal and use it to justify always putting ourselves first and never truly loving people selflessly. Jesus didn’t err in either direction. His life suggests that the best way to live, the way that is most fulfilled, is one where we give of ourselves right up to our limits and then recharge so we can do it again. We care for ourselves so we can better care for others.
