When it comes to family, there’s an interesting continuity that nestles itself into every family dynamic on the planet, no matter the cultural background — at some point and on some level, they’re going to be dysfunctional. Of course, the degree of dysfunctionality varies, but it’s always there, rearing its head around the holiday dinner table and even at larger gatherings like weddings or reunions.
What boggles the mind even further is the fact that this dysfunctionality has always been present throughout the course of our history on this planet, and nobody is exempt from it, not even Jesus. He had a family who loved him but also attempted to undermine him. There is a moment in the Scriptures where Jesus was speaking to a large crowd, making claims that probably made his family uncomfortable. Be it the scale of his ministry or the direction of it, his family did not approve. Once they caught wind of what he was saying to the crowd, they tried to quiet him and pull him away from the crowd by asserting that he had lost his mind. Jesus responded by declaring that his purpose and devotion to God came before his family.
Imagine being so passionate about your ideas that you want to share them with others, only to have your family shoot them down and call you crazy in a public setting for hundreds to see. Perhaps you don’t have to imagine because you know what it feels like when family doesn’t believe in your direction in life or attempts to cut your dreams down at the ankles. Ring any bells? Unfortunately, family dysfunction is something most of us know a little too well, or at least more than we’d care to admit.
This was a singular instance, but Jesus behaved boldly and held radical ideas, and it’s likely that he had other moments of contention with his immediate family because of this, but there’s another consideration to keep in mind — his lineage. If you look at the genealogy of Jesus, you’ll see he came from a mixed bag. His oldest known relative, Abraham, was a peaceful immigrant who set forth on a dangerous journey to establish a new nation. Noble, right?
Sure, but one of his great-grandmothers disguised herself as a sex worker and tricked her father-in-law into impregnating her. He also had a great-grandfather who abused his power as king to send a man into battle to be killed because he lusted after his wife. There are words to describe their character, too, but noble doesn’t quite come to mind. It is likely that the stories of Jesus’ ancestors were shared with him, and he was well aware of the checkered background from which he came.
Maybe Jesus had such a large capacity for grace for other people because he came from a dysfunctional family, too. One that doubted him, dismissed him, and had reason to cause him shame, but he didn’t resent them for it. We can’t choose our families, but like Jesus, we can choose to stand firm in our purpose and lead with love. No matter how messy your family situation is, know that you aren’t alone, and you, too, can find healthy ways to deal with the mud.
